Tag Archives: self-esteem

Felt Cute…Or Whatever

The other day, I let my daughter take my picture. They were full length pics which I hate. Most days, I feel uncomfortable in my skin so when I look at pictures, all I can see are the imperfections. My daughter is a good hype-woman and one of my biggest cheerleaders so I let her take the pic and I actually felt cute. I decided to share and talk about extreme weight loss highs and lows from my perspective.

Felt kinda cute in my camo pants

I used to weigh 226.796kg (500lbs). Here I am 150lbs down. I realize that is quite an accomplishment; it’s the smallest I’ve been in about 15yrs. You know what I see when I look at this picture? 70+lbs of loose skin in my belly, thighs and arms. That was one thing I didn’t know to expect with extreme weight loss; some days it bothers me more than others but I’m always aware of it and it makes me more self-conscious than when I was heavier. I am not a fan of the jiggly bits I have now that were solid when I was heavier.

Here is another picture my daughter took…

Not slim, kinda shady. Sums me up beautifully!

I have always been curvy and now that I am smaller, I do notice that my waist is more pronounced and my butt and hips are more shapely. My thighs are super jiggly from the excess skin but it is what it is. I know that will change as I continue with my cardio and strength training.

I notice that my face is slimmer as well as my neck. What is most important is that I feel better; not getting short of breath walking from one room to the next, little to no joint pain and just an overall feeling good. I’m definitely not where I want to be but I wouldn’t change a thing about my journey.

A Month Of Blessing Day – Day 11

Maya Angelou born Marguerite Annie Johnson; April 4, 1928 – May 28, 2014)
Black Dress
I have been trying to write this post since this treasure left us but I haven’t been able to. I decided that today is the day. I was not prepared for how affected I would be by her passing. I have been so emotional. She and her words shaped so much of my life; my self-esteem and just what it means to be a strong, black woman. The first piece I ever read by her was And Still I Rise; an amazing piece.
There are several quotes of hers that are a part of my every day life as I navigate through this thing called life.

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”

“You may not control all the events that happened to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”

Today, I am thankful for Maya Angelou and the wonderfully positive influence of she had on my life…and the world. She was a blessing.