It’s Tuesday…weigh-in day. I skipped last week because I had stuff to do pertaining to our taxes. Plus, I knew it would be a bad week after playing Granny 🙂
I was up 3lbs. I wasn’t too upset though. I had a good week but I know I need to increase my water and I am days away from the beginning of my cycle so I’m bloated. I lost inches in my chest and waist but gained in my legs so they canceled each other out.
We talked with Eva today about feeling tired of the program; I’ve been on it off and on for over a year. I am ready to be done! I know what it takes to get to that point but I’ve been bullshitting as of late. No more! I’ve set a goal date of my birthday (June 27th) as my 100lb mark. I’m more than halfway there.
My motivation for the week to come is this quote from Maya Angelou.
Its a reminder to me that this journey I’m on is going to be hard work but it is worth it. I am worth it!
The quote of the week at the clinic spoke to me as well.
It will remind me to keep going and take one day at a time.
This was not my best week but not my worst either. No matter what, I’ve got to keep going.
“Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.” Napoleon Hill
I took this selfie the other day while st my Ideal Protein weigh-in/ coaching appointment.
Its been a tough couple of weeks and my coach, Eva, and I have been working on getting me over this plateau I’ve hit. Honestly, I got a little bored. I was tired of eating the same shit! Eva explained that even though I was having gains of a few pounds (from cheating), it is important to keep sticking to the plan and keep coming to my weekly appointments. We remixed my menu a bit and got Tomi back on board and I think I am headed in the right direction again. Most importantly, no matter how tempted I was, I didn’t quit.
It is true that motivation can come from the most unexpected places.
I had an appointment the other day at the Pacific Cataract & Laser Institute. I have an eye disease called Keratoconus that basically causes the eye to take on the shape of a cone. It was first diagnosed 4yrs ago and and has progressed to the point where I need to have a corneal transplant in one eye and a corneal collagen cross-linking in order to keep the disease from progressing further in the other eye. All that information was a bit overwhelming and a lot to process.The thing that hurt the most was hearing “You’re too fat for us to make you OK”. At least that is the way that my brain received it. What he actually said was “We are not able to do the procedure here because of your weight. The weight limit for our equipment is 350lbs. If you are able to lose 75lbs, we can get it done for you no problem”. I pretty much stopped being able to process anything beyond that part of the conversation so it’s a good thing that my wife was there with me because otherwise, I would have missed a bunch of info. I skipped weighing in this week because I wasn’t following my plan the way that I should. Hearing the doctor talk about my weight as a hindrance to improving my eye situation was all the motivation I needed to get back on track. What a wake up call. I am use to hearing the surprise when doctors see that I don’t have issues with blood pressure, diabetes or cholesterol due to my weight. It sucks that they expect you to have those problems but it is what it is. But I have heard too many times in the past 6mos that I am too heavy or too big for a medical procedure. I would like to say to the universe…I GET IT!
I am back on my program and following it to the letter.
I was on the Ideal Protein program before, a few years ago, but the timing wasn’t right and I was not successful and had to stop.
Recently, I tried to start again. That day was a comedy of errors that resulted in me making the decision to stop, regroup, wait a couple days and then start again.
Sunday, January 19th, 2014, I restarted my restart of Ideal Protein (You still with me?). I had a great week and followed the program to the letter. The program eliminates dairy, fruits and grains from your diet. My diet must have been carb & sugar heavy because I definitely went through some withdrawals but I stuck it out.
The good thing about the program is that you don’t ever feel hungry but I definitely had to fight a couple ugly behaviors that presented themselves; blind snacking and emotional eating. I had to find another outlet so I read more, wrote in my journal more and blogged more; that seemed to do the trick.
I had my first weigh-in on Friday, January 24th. I was so anxious about it that I was nauseous. I am down 9.6lbs. It felt so good to hear that I almost cried. It definitely gave me the boost I needed to jump into the next week with renewed strength of will. I am -9.6lbs closer to my first goal which is to get out of the 400 club.
I walked A mile the other day at the gym. This may not seem like a big deal to most but for me, its monumental.
I set out to do 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill at least 3x a week. I have been sticking to that and always end up being just under a mile. Well, I decided to ignore the time and make it to a whole mile. My legs felt like limp noodles and I wasn’t sure I would make it to the car afterward but I made it and it felt AMAZING!
It is hard getting back to an active lifestyle after leading a very sedentary life for so long. Finding the motivation to get to the gym is really hard some days but I am sticking with it. I am determined to make positive changes in my life. I no longer want to be held back by the physical and mental limitations I have allowed because of my size and weight.
Working through the hard days makes the reward so much sweeter.