Tag Archives: God

10 Things 2015 Will Bring For Me: Faith Over Fear

I stopped making new year resolutions years ago. I didn’t really think about why until recently. I had given up hope, out of fear of trying and failing, that my life would ever be different. I would always be fat. I would never start my business. I would never write my book. I would never try. I always talked myself out of trying with thoughts like ‘You don’t have money for that’ or ‘You don’t have a degree’.
For a long time, I chalked it up to being lazy. Then, God started placing things in my path that helped me realize that my lack of action has been based on fear and self-doubt. Fear of flying. Fear of success. Fear of failure. Fear of being told “no”. Then God started placing things in my path that told me my faith needs to be bigger. I need to move in faith and what I need will come. Failure and hearing “no” means I’m trying; ACTION!
I have decided that this is the year that I get out of my own way.
This is going to be a year of action for me. A year that I will accomplish some goals; take action on the plans I’ve previously been too afraid to pursue.

1. I am going to complete my business plan, get my business license, create my business website and get started as an entrepreneur.

2. One of my strengths is as a caregiver. I enjoy doing for others. It makes me feel good. I will spend more time caring for myself.

3. I am going to take more time to nurture my friendships.

4. I am going to continue to show my body how much I love and treasure it by making healthy choices.

5. I will make sure that love is a verb in my marriage. My wife means the world to me and I plan to work hard to make sure she knows it.

6. I will take control of what we eat by cooking at home more and eating out less.

7. I will make time to write; journaling, poetry and most importantly, start my book.

8. I will spend more time on a microphone. I love to sing and I love to talk. I’ve always wanted to do session work in a studio and voiceover/ voice acting work but allowed my fear to hold me back. NO MORE!

9. I will cut the clutter; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Clutter can block your clarity and block your blessings. I’ve been getting rid of clothes and shoes I haven’t/ can’t wear. I’ve been getting rid of old mail, photos and papers that hold no importance. I’ve been removing toxic people from my life. I’ve have been getting rid of thoughts and ideas that have held me bound.

10. I will live!

2015 is going to be a stellar year! I’ll keep you posted.

Corneal Transplant


I had my corneal transplant surgery on 10/01/14 at Walla Walla General Hospital. It was performed by Dr. Arthur Giebel who is one of the top specialists in my area.
I was petrified! I prayed and had faith that God would make sure I was alright. Also, knowing that the surgeon is a man of God helped to put me at ease.
The procedure took about 4hrs from start to recovery. The doctor was pleased that he was able to preserve the base layer and at my follow-up today, I was able to see at 20/80. That’s amazing considering that I was legally blind before the surgery.
Its a bit uncomfortable when I have to put my drops in but otherwise, I’m not having any pain.
Thank God for the miracles of modern medicine.

10 Things I’m Loving Right Now

I usually do this on the last day of the month but we were traveling and I had no service so here we are on the 1st. This has been a busy time and I have an abundance of things to be thankful for so here we go…
1.) Faith – God has kept me and continues to keep me and my family. Without faith, it would be difficult to get up everyday.
2.) Tomi – My wife is AMAZING! Since I’ve been unemployed, she has taken up the slack without any complaints. I know that having all of the financial responsibility thrust upon your shoulders can be quite the heavy load to bare but she carries it as though it ‘weighs’ nothing. I am so thankful to her and for her.

3.) Friends – There aren’t many people who can say they have friendships that have spanned two decades. I have several! My 20-yr high school reunion was awesome evidence of that.




4.) Being a granny – I’ve gotten to spend quite a bit of time with my Jaydie Bug lately. She is a pure joy! I wish I could spend more time with my California grandbabies; Desmond Jr. (Scooter), Da’Liyah and De’Zha. Perhaps we’ll plan a trip.




5.) Music – Helping me feel my feels!

6.) Reading – Being unemployed brings lots of spare time for reading. I am thankful for my nook and my library card.


7.) Nature – God definitely puts on some amazing shows and I am thankful to get to experience them.

8.) Concerts – My honey took me to see Montgomery Gentry & John Michael Montgomery at the fair. AMAZING! She’s a country music fan now.


9.) Bundles of joy – possibly being the care provider for this little one.

10.) Life – Regardless of the ups and downs, I am thankful for every day.


10 Things I’m Loving Right Now


It’s only Monday and it has already been a trying week. Sheesh!
Truth be told, the whole month of March has been pretty hard on me; I really had to dig to find 10 things for this post. I just had to work a little to remember that in spite of it all, I am truly blessed. Something that helped me was recalling a song that we used to sing when I was on the praise team at church (back when I use to go).
The song simply says…
‘As I look back over my life, I can see how Your love has guided me. Even though I’ve done wrong, You never left me alone; You forgave me, and still You kept on blessing’. So, here we go!
1.) God-I know that not everyone believes but I do. My faith helps me through the tough times.


2.) Work!-I am soooo thankful to be employed; even though my job stresses me out sometimes.


3.) Family-The one I was born into as well as those I’ve added by choice.
4.) My Parents-I got to spend another birthday (hers) with my mommy and they just celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary.



5.) Tomi-we had our 6 month wedding anniversary. Still the best day ever!


6.) Entrepreneurial Endeavors-I have become an ordained minister and am now waiting for my business license. I am going to perform weddings!

7.) Music-I love creating playlists for the different aspects of my life. I appreciate the way music helps you feel your feelings; good bad or indifferent.
8.) Hayley-Shih Tzu cuddles are the best after a long, hard day.


9.) Positive Self-Image
I appreciate all the positive body imagery I come across on my journey to improve my body.




10.) Life-It’s crazy, stressful, happy, sad, tumultuous, rewarding and countless other descriptive words. Most importantly, its mine! I wouldn’t trade it for the world.


Embracing A Time Of Change…

As the new year approaches, I find that I am falling apart. At least that’s how I’m feeling. I’m fatter than I’ve ever been, my sciatica is debilitating but I’m too heavy to have an MRI to further assess the issue. Right now, all I can do is take narcotics to ‘help’ with the pain that never really goes away. I can’t sit up for any length of time without pain and laying down doesn’t help much either.
I got a letter the other day that my wages will be garnished starting with my first paycheck in 2014 for my student loans. My credit is crappy and my life feels like its spiraling out of control.
I am feeling sad and depressed and I am in tears daily. I am just really disappointed at the state of my life right now and I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have to believe that God has a plan; that He is trying to show me how strong I am. He is preparing me for newness and change. I am choosing to walk in the faith and trust in the promise that God will never put more on me than I can bear. I have to trust that if He brought me to it, He’ll bring me through it.

I am going to pray. I am going to write (it helps bring clarity). I am going to affirm myself and speak and think positive things into my life. I am going to work to prepare myself to receive the greatness that God is going to shower into my life. I believe it and I am open to receive it. I am feeling discouraged but I cannot give up. I am choosing to acknowledge the bad things but not wallow in them. As long as there is breath in my lungs, I have to believe there is a purpose I haven’t fulfilled.

I am a work in progress and I am ok with that.

10 Things I Am Loving Right Now

What a trying time this has been for me. Just trying to keep my head above water lately has been a lot of work. Especially in times like this, I have to say thank you for all that I have been blessed with.
1. Thank you Lord for waking me up each day to see all the beauty You’ve created.
2. I can be a little bit high maintenance and I am so thankful for Tomi who loves me through everything.
3. Family & friends who pray for me and know that I pray for them too; even when we don’t talk or see one another forever!
4. Our house! Finally there is no one living over our heads and my dog has a yard to run around in.
5. Work-Thankful for my J.O.B. and thankful for my Mary Kay business.
6. The ability to read. I have read a lot of good books lately, including my bible, and I am so thankful to have that joy.
7. Another year! So thankful that in 20 days, I get to see another birthday (Tomi’s birthday is in 15 days and I am also thankful for that).
8. DVR-I appreciate that I don’t have to be glued to the television in order to catch my favorite shows.
9. Social networks & smart phones which allow me to keep up with my friends & fam. We have busy lives that take us in all kinds of directions but a short blurb and we’re all caught up.
10. With all of its ups and downs, I am very thankful for my life.

Just being me!