Please don’t go typing that in because it is not an actual website; I think.
Instead, think of it as a very accurate description of my current mental, emotional and physical state. My stress level is HIGH!!
I am having a couple of eye surgeries; the first of which is coming up next month. I have to be honest and say that I am freaking out just a little
I have an eye disease called Keratoconus which has gotten progressively worse and has started to affect my vision and the ability to correct my vision with contacts or glasses. I am legally blind in the left eye and that will require a corneal transplant which I will be having around the end of summer. The procedure that I am having next month is called Corneal CrossLinking. I am having it all done at a clinic in Walla Walla, WA which is about an hour away from home and I am having to take a bunch of time off of work. Needless to say, my anxiety and stress level is HIGH.
My hair is falling out, my skin is a mess, I keep breaking out in hives, I can’t concentrate and all I want to do is sleep and eat. Speaking of eating…
At the beginning of this weight loss adventure, I promised myself that I would be completely transparent; no filter. That being said, I haven’t been following my program properly for the last two weeks. I haven’t been eating the right things, I haven’t been taking my supplements, I haven’t been logging my meals, drinking water like I am supposed to; just not doing anything I am supposed to. I usually start the day well and then by lunch, I get lazy and just eat whatever and then I think “I’ve ruined this day already so I may as well eat whatever I want for dinner”. It’s been a nasty cycle over the past couple of weeks. It also didn’t help that we went out of town two weekends in a row. I didn’t plan ahead which made staying on plan while travelling next to impossible. Have you ever tried to find something healthy to eat in a convenience store?
TODAY I’VE DECIDED TO STOP ALLOWING LIFE TO GET IN THE WAY OF MY SUCCESS! I gave myself a little pep talk/ kick-in-butt…
I had my weigh-in today and came clean with my coach and declared tomorrow my official relaunch day. I gained 12lbs in two weeks but didn’t gain any inches; I’m down another 1.5in.
I am striving to “Look Great At 38!”
I had an appointment the other day at the Pacific Cataract & Laser Institute. I have an eye disease called Keratoconus that basically causes the eye to take on the shape of a cone. It was first diagnosed 4yrs ago and and has progressed to the point where I need to have a corneal transplant in one eye and a corneal collagen cross-linking in order to keep the disease from progressing further in the other eye. All that information was a bit overwhelming and a lot to process.The thing that hurt the most was hearing “You’re too fat for us to make you OK”. At least that is the way that my brain received it. What he actually said was “We are not able to do the procedure here because of your weight. The weight limit for our equipment is 350lbs. If you are able to lose 75lbs, we can get it done for you no problem”. I pretty much stopped being able to process anything beyond that part of the conversation so it’s a good thing that my wife was there with me because otherwise, I would have missed a bunch of info. I skipped weighing in this week because I wasn’t following my plan the way that I should. Hearing the doctor talk about my weight as a hindrance to improving my eye situation was all the motivation I needed to get back on track. What a wake up call. I am use to hearing the surprise when doctors see that I don’t have issues with blood pressure, diabetes or cholesterol due to my weight. It sucks that they expect you to have those problems but it is what it is. But I have heard too many times in the past 6mos that I am too heavy or too big for a medical procedure. I would like to say to the universe…I GET IT!
I am back on my program and following it to the letter.