I’m feeling stuck…again. My weight this week was exactly the same as last week. That was a little deflating but I’ll take that over having a gain. I’m going to have to be more consistent about hitting the gym and eat way more veggies and a few less carbs.
This weekend, I posted a pic of me in my Mickey Mouse leggings. Two body shots in as many weeks? I’m feeling myself! I love them and felt like I look ok in them. It’s an extremely vulnerable place to be in for me, sharing myself. I find that in my vulnerability, there is strength. Luckily, I have an amazing support system which helps when I need a bit of shoring up.
I got to visit my home town this weekend. I got to see my parents and our youngest daughter (She just turned 26 on 1/23). I miss them so much so it also makes me feel ‘full’ to see them and be around them.
I also got to see cousins and countless others I have known my entire life who’ve become ‘family’. I’m glad we have our life in the the Tri-Cities and for all the ‘framily’ (friends that are like family) we’ve gained over the past 12yrs but there’s no place like home.
Well, it only took me half of the month to catch up on life enough to complete my first blog post of the year. So much for starting the year with a consistent weekly post. Sheesh!! Anyway, let me get you all caught up on the life and times of me.
I brought in the new year with my honey and some friends and doing what I love to do…singing. We went originally to watch the show and Micah and Cat invited me up to join them on a couple of numbers. It was a blast!! Good company, good wine, good food and great memories.
As of last Friday (my weigh-in day), I am down 70lbs since this whole weight loss thing started (down 4lbs for the week). Physically, I feel fantastic. I can move around without pain and without getting winded. I had been on muscle relaxers for chronic back pain for years and I haven’t taken them since surgery day. I can climb up and down the stairs in my house without having to climb on hands and knees like a toddler. My wife and I can go on walks with the dogs. We can go out dancing and instead of just part of a song, I dance through several songs and only have to sit down because a song comes on that I don’t like. I am enjoying the new found freedom that losing weight has afforded me.
I do have to say that extreme weight loss is a blessing and a curse. It has been a mental test getting use to my body as it changes. There are parts of me that hang that didn’t use to. My skin feels different to me, my clothes fit differently. My skin is changing, my hair is changing. It’s definitely interesting getting to know myself all over again. I don’t always like how I look with or without clothes. Some days are definitely better than others but I am learning and coping as I go.
I’m learning a few things…
Working out needs to be a priority. It helps you have more effective weight loss and helps you to gain muscle while you are losing weight. I’m getting more consistent with workouts but it is still my least favorite thing to do.
It is super important to take care of yourself mentally. Make time to pray, meditate, journal and pamper yourself. All the change is a lot mentally so you do not want to neglect your self-care; whatever that looks like for you.
Get use to never eating a hot meal again. That sounds weird but I honestly have not had a hot meal since I had surgery. The reality is that you just can’t eat it fast enough. The one thing this surgery forces you to do is slow down. You have to chew more because you don’t want to swallow big chunks (even of soft food). Believe it or not, you will get use to it.
Surround yourself with positive people who want to see you succeed. They don’t have to be on a weight loss journey (although you should have a few of those people in your life). Just make sure that they are not the people who are constantly offering you all the junk food and starchy goodness. Make sure they are people who are willing to listen to the occasional rant about ill-fitting clothing and a not-so-delicious new food. Most importanly, they need to be good cheerleaders who are willing to encrourage and slap that muffin out of your hand if need be. Someone willing to go on a walk with you and your dogs or offer alternatives for getting together other than eating and drinking (crafting dates, walking dates, mani/pedi dates).
Now, we are all caught up and ready to get back to our regularly scheduled program. I will be back on Friday with my weekly weigh-in
I am a few days late with this one. I started back to work yesterday so I took advantage of every last bit of the weekend and spent little to no time with a screen in front of my face.
As of this past Friday (weigh day), I am down another -5.6lbs so I am at 449.2lbs. That is a total of -15.2lbs down since the surgery date (7/29/16) and -40lbs since my pre-surgery education (7/20/16).
I am feeling AMAZING!! Already I am better able to move around and breath. The constant swelling in my legs and feet has gone way down and is no longer painful and I can walk 20ft without excruciating back pain.
It has been so long since I’ve blogged that I had a hard time deciding where to begin. Life has been happening all around me and I have just been rolling with the punches. I made the decision that I am going to live more deliberately as it pertains to every aspect of my life and that includes writing.
I went to a book signing recently and got to meet one of my favorite writers, Patricia Briggs. One of the things that she said was that if you want to be a writer, in her opinion, it is most prudent to write everyday. That way, you don’t have to work so hard to remember where you were when you left off. It is more beneficial to sit down with the goal of writing 5 pages a day then to block out large blocks of time. I am going to work really hard to incorporate that into my life. That being said, please be patient with me as I have quite a bit of catch up to do.
Alright, first things first, lets talk weight! I have not lost any. I have a pretty good grasp on the healthy eating thing. I know what I ‘should’ be eating and most of the time, I do that. There are definitely times when I splurge on calories which I’ve got to get under control. That won’t be an option without physical damage post surgery and nobody wants that.
My major issue has been with incorporating exercise. I weigh almost 500 lbs; I feel fat and uncomfortable in general. Incorporating any type of aerobic exercise has proven painful. I can’t even make it through a quick jaunt to the grocery store for a few items after work without severe back and leg pain and having to take a sit break before heading out to the car.
Well, in doing some research, I have found my exercise!! I am joining a gym that is just down the road from my job and they offer water aerobics or Aqua Cardio, as they call it. I have my first class tomorrow. I’ve done water aerobics before and at this point, it is really my only options to get any type of exercise. My joints ache non-stop, my back pain is off the charts and I am always puffy and swollen. I love being in the water and I am looking forward to trying to get ‘better’ as I head toward surgery.
I have my 4th month of appointments on this coming Friday. We are about 60 days out from setting a surgery date. I have had most of my pre-surgery testing which included an EKG, Echocardiogram, Upper Gastrointestinal exam, abdominal xray, and pulmonary function test. I’ve still got to have a chest xray and an extensive lab panel. I have an appointment with my Pulmonology /Sleep Specialist next month to make sure that my CPAP machine is in good working order. I’m feeling ready!!
This week was really fun for me because I got to talk about music; one of my favorite subjects.
LIST THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW
Oh boy!! Anyone that knows me knows that for me, this list could go on forever. I LOVE MUSIC!! Lots of different kinds of music. And I really LOVE a good love song. I ended up with two lists but I consolidated and came up with 30 songs that I have been listening to a lot lately.
It’s My Time-Kelly Price
Loved On Me-Fred Hammond
Song Of Strength-Fred Hammond
Electric Lady-Janelle Monae
I’m Prettier-Jill Scott
Far Away-Kindred The Family Soul
Lettin Go!-Janelle Monae
Give Me A Clean Heart-Fred Hammond
New Day-Alicia Keys
Get Me Bodied-Beyonce
I Choose You-Sara Bareilles
You Were Meant For Me-Lalah Hathaway
I Blame You-Ledisi
You’re So Amazing-Calvin Richardson
The Way I Am-Ingrid Michaelson
I Deserve It-Faith Evans
Take Off The Blues-The Foreign Exchange
I Like It-Sevyn Streeter
Special Delivery-Bridget Kelly
You & I-Avant (feat. Keke Wyatt)
TAKE ACTION: Make a playlist of these songs as a memento of the person that you are at this very moment. Revisit this list in the summertime and again in the winter to see if the songs that feel like you change with the seasons.