Category Archives: Random Ramblings

The Uncomfortable Yes: Conquering Fears

One of my biggest anxieties comes from hearing my recorded voice or seeing myself on camera. Let me classify that; seeing my WHOLE body in pictures or videos. Well, I’m stepping into a new boldness in 2018 (although I’m feeling a bit nervous about it 🤣). 

At my church, they record welcome videos that show right after Worship Service. I participated in the filming of two videos that will be featured in the coming weeks. Here’s the real biggie though. This past Sunday at church, we celebrated Martin Luther King Jr; the man and his message. How far we’ve come toward equality and how far we have to go. I was asked to sing Take My Hand, Precious Lord  which is not a big deal. I enjoy singing and especially ‘making a joyful noise’. I was audio recorded for the weekly podcast which I knew and had wrapped my head around. I also knew that I was video recorded. When one of the pastors texted and asked if about posting the video, I gave an immediate yes. Please don’t think it was because I was feeling super confident about it, because I wasn’t. I hadn’t seen the video or heard all of the audio and all of my anxiety and insecurities came bubbling up with the doubt talk. It wasn’t perfect. You were kinda pitchy at that one part. Your tempo was all over. People are going to be staring at you. What if you look gross (losing 100+ lbs does not quiet your issues with body image). Well, I managed to push those thoughts aside and I. Said. Yes. Then, I sat and watched a video of myself; twice. I watched it once without sound and then again with sound. The first time through, I was anxious and nauseous and I felt like my heart was jump out of my chest. I realized I wasn’t dead 😊. Watching it the second time was a lot less stressful. I’m glad I chose the uncomfortable yes. It was scary and new but you know what? I’m looking forward to doing it again.

Advertisements

Happy New Year!!

We made it to 2018!!

2017 was quite a year for my family and I; full of plenty of highs, lows and lots of in between.

We (Tomi & I) are -150 lighter between the 2 of us as we start this year.  We became homeowners this year. We have lost a few family members & friends (may they RIP) and gained a few new ones. We have both been working toward maintaining/ reestablishing familial relationships that have faltered along the way (such a long story-perhaps in a later post). The end of 2017 was particularly busy for us with traveling. We saw a lot of AMAZING concerts last year; the highlight of which was seeing Earth, Wind & Fire.

2018 won’t be quite as busy as last year for us when it comes to traveling but we have a few trips planned. Our oldest grandbaby (the only boy) graduates from high school this year. One of our daughters is getting married this year. Lord willing, we’ll celebrate another birthday and anniversary this year.

For me, 2018 will be a year of being intentional and consistent. I am really good and being consistently inconsistent. I’ve perfected over the last 20yrs or so. This year, I plan to step my game up and be more intentional about life as opposed to just letting life happen. I know that comes with being consistent. Some would say that it’s about time but I say that every day is a good day for a new beginning. Can I get an AMEN?!? I have been making lists, making plans and setting short/long-term goals. I’m trying to do an overhaul by making small changes (I don’t want to bite off more than I can chew) in several areas of my life where I want to be more consistent; working my business, blogging, skincare, continued weight loss, cleaning house, clearing debt.

This will be a year of fostering, maintaining or releasing relationships. I’m reaching out to those that have previously fallen by the wayside, I am putting in the work to maintain those and that are hanging out there by a thread and I am releasing, with love, those relationships that no longer serve me. I’ve learned that it’s OK to let go of those that don’t want to be a part of my life (and not take it personally) and also to allow myself to be let go of by others. I am going to be more intentional about fostering my relationship with God; spending time in fellowship with Him and in His word.

I’ve also been trying to adopt the action of doing little things with big love. Doing things for others and even for yourself does not always have to involve a grand gesture. Screenshot_20171211-202022.png

I’m stomping into 2018 with a new look, a new attitude and a new vision. I’m excited to see what this year brings.

20171227_111059.jpg

 

All Up In My Face

The title was not my attempt at being clever. This post is going to be about my face.

The Face
If I’m being honest, most days, I don’t think a whole lot about my face. I get up, wash, tone, moisturize (with SPF) and then repeat the process before bed. That’s more out of routine than anything else. Lately though, I think about my face a lot. I pay it a lot of attention and it makes me feel sad. I’m sad about the signs of aging that I’m starting to see waaaaaayyyyyy more of. The breakouts I’m having since the year I turned 40 would bring a teenager to tears. And where the hell are all these moles and freckles coming from? Plucking, twerking and waxing could be a full time job at this point. With all the time I spend on maintenance, just trying to maintain my baseline, I wonder how I ever found time to get up and put on a full face everyday. I guess I’m really starting to really appreciate the ugly side of keeping it pretty 🤓.

The 52 Lists Project: List 8

LIST YOUR FAVORITE QUOTES.

“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” – Audre Lorde

“Sometimes I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.” – Zora Neale Hurston

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

“A crown, if it hurts us, is not worth wearing.” – Pearl Bailey

“I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else’s whim or to someone else’s ignorance.” = bell hooks

“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.” – Alice Walker

“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” – Alice Walker

“Deal with yourself as an individual worthy of respect, and make everyone else deal with you the same way.” – Nikki Giovanni

“Give light and people will find the way.” – Ella Baker

TAKE ACTION: What do your favorite quotes have in common? Choose one qualitu or theme to incorporate into your daily life this week.

The 52 Lists Project: List 7

LIST ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY…

There really are too many to name but I will give a few…

  1. Tomi
  2. My Parents
  3. My Children
  4. My grandchildren
  5. My Siblings
  6. My nieces and nephews
  7. My church family
  8. My friends

TAKE ACTION: Write a sweet note to or do something thoughtful for one or some of these people who make your life easier, lighter and happier.

The 52 Lists Project: List 6

LIST THE WAYS YOU LOVE TO HAVE FUN.

  1. Karaoke
  2. Traveling
  3. Spending time with family and friends
  4. Reading
  5. Crafting and creating
  6. Shopping
  7. Going to the movies
  8. Writing
TAKE ACTION: Plan to integrate something fun into every day this week. We can all settle into routines very easily, so why not break the routine of boredom and start a routine of fun?