It wasn’t until we went on our honeymoon that I was truly faced with how fat I’ve gotten. Everyone wants to throw ‘curvy’ around, which I am, but I am fat. Period. There was not one aspect of the travel experience that wasn’t miserable for me. I think squeezing my bulk into the plane seats was the worst by far. I had bruises in my hip from the 12 total hours that the seat parts pressed into my flesh. Then, there was the walking, huffing and sweating my way through the airports. I don’t want this to be my life anymore.
The first thing I did when we got home is make a doctor appointment. I found out that my thyroid numbers are out of control, which is affecting my success when it comes to my weight loss attempts. Then, I joined Weight Watchers. I need help! I need a lifestyle change. I went to my first meeting this past Saturday and I cried when I read the number of my first weigh-in. Then, I said a small prayer and resolved to see that number go down and my health improve. I am tired…of being fat, unhealthy, self-conscious. I am tired of feeling like a failure every time I try and fail to lose weight. But I know that when I fall, as long as I get up and start again, I am NOT a failure. I truly feel like I am fighting for my life.
Tomi said that she is going to nag me about logging my points and getting my workout in. She said she will do whatever she has to in order to help me succeed.
I am ready to be completely transparent; no filter. This is me. I am 37 years old. I am 6’0″ tall. At my first Weight Watchers meeting on Saturday, September 26th, 2013 , I weighed in at 455.2lbs. I am embarrassed to put myself out here like this. I am feeling very vulnerable and raw but most importantly, I feel ready.