A series of seemingly unrelated events came together to put me in my current frame of mind. I read an article in the New York Times by Alice Randall called Why Black Women Are Fat http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/06/opinion/sunday/why-black-women-are-fat.html?smid=pl-share and then came across another article by the same author in the September issue of Essence magazine titled My Soul To Keep, My Weight To Lose. Then, I read another article in Essence by the Write Or Die Chick called Diary Of A Mad, Fat Chick http://www.essence.com/2012/08/31/write-or-die-chick-diary-mad-fat-chick. Then, I came across a book by Alice Randall called Ada’s Rules and I knew that God was trying to tell me something; something that I have been telling myself for years. It is time to make a change!
Ok, wait! Let me start at the beginning. I don’t know when I started avoiding mirrors that show me anything other than my face but I do. I actually can’t recall when I stopped liking what I saw looking back at me but somewhere in my life, it happened. Tomi and I were out shopping and I walked past a full length mirror and made the mistake of looking into it. I cried. I made the decision that day that I was going to make a change. I made some small changes in the way I was eating, slowly, over the course of a month and saw a little weight loss. Then, the next time I weighed myself, I was 10lbs heavier than my original weight. I am heavier than I have ever been in my life!
After God put all of these different reading materials in my path, I know it wan’t anyone but God, I knew that only I could change what I do not like to see when I look in the mirror. So, I continue to make changes in the way that I eat; healthy food and healthy snacks. Also, I have started working out. Since I come from a primarily sedentary lifestyle, I knew that I would have to take baby steps in order to start and stick with any type of exercise plan. I’ve decided to start by walking my way to a healthier me. I started this past Tuesday and my plan is to go and walk for 30mins everyday and I have been sticking to it. As my endurance increases, so will my exercise.
Although, I feel tired and achy in my body, I feel good on the inside. I am so proud of myself for my motivation and my dedication to a healthier me. That feeling is what will keep me moving forward. Now, I am looking forward to things like making appointments to try on wedding gowns (I’m planning my wedding) and being able to purchase clothes off the rack more easily. For the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful and hopeful feels pretty damn good.